Sadly, I’m sure it’s news to some people that there is a U.S. Flag Code.

That’s right, a list of LAWS governing the use, display, lighting and even destruction of the American flag. The fact that people can’t be prosecuted for violating those laws is another argument entirely.

But nobody at cable network HGTV probably ever heard of the U.S. Flag Code. That’s the only reason one can imagine why it thought using a flag as a tablecloth was a nifty idea to spruce up your Fourth of July picnic table. And the suggestion to use a nylon flag so you can more easily wipe up spills is almost more offensive than the original idea.

And before the geniuses at HGTV get any more bright ideas, American flag swim trunks, seat covers and oven mitts are a bad idea as well.

To borrow the words of one veteran, “No one dies for a tablecloth.”