Curved or straight? The great bill controversy

There’s another controversy raging in Major League Baseball right now, and this one’s not going away any time soon.

No, we’re not talking about HGH and the Hall. We’re not talking about the MVP or Cy Young award. And we’re not talking about what the Yankees should do with A-Rod.

We’re talking about baseball hats. That’s right, baseball hats. And the question that’s on the top of every baseball fan’s mind these days is: When it comes to baseball hats, should the bill be worn curved or straight?

It’s a game-time decision.

When it comes to caps, there seems to be two distinct bill camps. There are the traditionalists – those who side with Johan Santana and favor the straight bill. And there are the new-agers–those who prefer the C.C. Sabathia-endorsed bent bill. No one, it seems, likes both.

So which is best? The answer is as easy to see as a Josh Hamilton home run: Bent bills are clearly better. Here’s why:

Tradition:

Tradition? Of course. No one ever saw the Babe wearing a straight-billed baseball cap. And when it comes to what’s cool and trendy in America’s Pastime, the Babe is always cool and trendy. He could hit for power, field, throw and pitch. He defines baseball greatness. And he never wore his bill straight.

Functionality:

Fashion trends come and go, but functionality is forever. There’s a reason baseball players started bending their bills–doling so blocks out more sun, it makes the cap more comfortable and it’s how hats are supposed to be worn. Straight-billed baseball hats are just a fad, actually less useful, and, hopefully, something that will go the way of corked bat sand juiced balls. Straight bills serve no practical purpose.

One Size Does Not Fit All:

Here’s the real deal: You can’t rock a straight bill if you don’t have a big noggin. It’s true. C.C. and his giant head? Sure, he can pull it off. But what if little Nick Punto or even Torii Hunter want to try it? They have no chance. You see, to make the straight bill work, a player has to have a head the size of one of Barry Bonds’ enhanced biceps. And let’s be honest, very few players can make that claim. Therefore, only a small number of players can do it. Which is good because it doesn’t look good.

To Repeat – It Doesn’t Look Good:

Okay, it looks good on some kids and people with big heads (not you, A-Rod, we mean literally, not figuratively). Kids can wear just about anything. But guys in their late 20s and early 30s should not try it. That’s why only a few players do it. Disagree?